All We Want: Neighbours to the Rescue
We don’t always like ourselves. We don’t always feel good about who we are. We don’t always wake up in the morning and think: Nice. We don’t always look forward to the day. There are times when we would rather not have any more days. Or nights. We are not always fans of existing. We … Read more
Animal Instincts: Men and Their Urges
When a beautiful man slips through your fingers there’s not much you can do. You might never see him again. In cities like London you are always losing people. Yesterday at the sauna I lost two. (Somewhere in my head is the Oscar Wilde line about the misfortune of losing one parent, but two!? he … Read more
Gay Man Has Sex with Woman, Almost
During the lunch break, while the others went for rice and chicken soup at Barshu on Frith Street, I went to one of those acupuncture/herbal medicine/massage places on Shaftesbury Avenue to try and get some relief from my shoulder and neck pain. A friend had suggested I go for a chair massage. They’re great, she … Read more
A Gay Times Review of The Confessions
London’s Gay Times magazine published a review of my book and it’s all good! The first review is the sweetest, and it makes me feel that the book is being read and seen and that’s a nice feeling.
Eroticising Homophobic Bullying
To what extend has your desire shaped your body? How much do you work out so that you can 1) have the kind of body you’ve always fantasised about, and/or 2) have the kind of body that others will desire? What have you done to your body to make you attractive to others? Dieted? Pumped … Read more
Roleplay and Foreplay
The German guy wants us to roleplay, and it’s making me anxious. I SMS him: What’s the scenario? And he replies: A job interview. And then, he adds, you fuck me on the table. He’ll turn up in his suit, he says. He likes the whole suit and shirt thing, mainly because he likes unbuttoning … Read more
A Year of Fire and Rain
It was a strange year. Not one of the best. Not for me, and not for the world, really. The floods started in Brazil in January, mudslides, buildings and trees and people and animals being washed down hills. And the Arab Spring began with a young seller burning himself alive. And there was the fire … Read more
One Jerks Off While the Other Sews
In 2009 Masanobu Sato masturbated for just under 10 hours, and so became the world record holder in the men’s division of the Masturbate-a-thon in San Francisco. Masanobu trains for it. He swims, he eats well, he spends quite a bit of time at home in front of the TV watching the news or porn … Read more
Not Even E, nor BB
My therapist says I’m a very moral person, and he doesn’t mean that as a compliment. What he means is that I’m judgemental and self-critical and that I should give myself a break. He doesn’t have a problem with me having loads of phone sex, talking to guys (strangers) about fucking their Rottweilers and shitting … Read more
Can You Not Pay the Rent-Boy?
We agreed on £60. That’s reasonable, I messaged him, but I’d like something in return. So he writes back, something along the lines of: You can’t have a pound of my flesh, but I’d consider most other things. He was what I liked: tall and skinny, with a nice mop of curly black hair. I’ve … Read more
